The Program — Contemporary Cube Theory

Contemporary Cube Theory

IMS: Hello, this is IMS, the author of The Program audio series. I recently got into a discussion with Alex, the creator of Modes of Thought in Anterran Literature, whose performance you will hear in this episode. We spoke about how the financial calculus for podcasts is only getting more difficult. After all, when This American Life, one of the biggest podcasts in the U.S., is starting a paid tier and calling listeners for help, you can only imagine what the situation is like for indies. We concluded that the only way forward is to focus on quality, and fostering an audience that can recognize it. You can probably feel a CTA coming. But it's actually less demanding than usual. If you are already supporting three indie creators, you're off the hook. If however, you're currently not supporting anyone, make The Program your first one. And then start listening to Modes of Thought in Anterran Literature and make it the second. What we pay for online will thrive, what we ignore we are asking to die. Thank you for keeping us alive.

ANNOUNCER: This episode is an interplay of a lecture recorded during the golden age of decoding, and an anonymous interview recorded approximately during the same period as the said lecture’s topic.

[murmur of students in a classroom]

DECODER: Hello. Nice to see so many future decoders here. Guess Program studies are back in fashion, huh? Alright. Start with a few basics here, just to make sure you’re in the right classroom... This is Contemporary Cube Theory. Heads up for those taking this class as an elective to Decoding Methods and Practices, humanities courses now only count towards your certification if you take three or more of them. Three or more, okay? Alrighty.

Digital intelligence… Aliens… National governments… IT cults… Theories about the Program’s origin and inner workings are as old as the Program itself. That’s why all of us are here; to study it and to understand it. But to truly understand the Program, you need to understand the Cubes. So you made an exceptionally prudent decision to take this class… This is where it all starts. Let's start with a quick lay of the land so we see where you guys are at… Who can tell me when the construction of the Cubes began? How many years after the Program first appeared? Anyone…?

RANDOM STUDENT: Five?

DECODER: Yes, almost immediately after the Program appeared, within the first few years. So roughly eight centuries ago… Second question: how long has the work on the Cubes continued for? Rough estimate, anyone?

RANDOM STUDENT: 300 years?

DECODER: Okay, I heard 300. Higher…

RANDOM STUDENT: 400?

DECODER: Higher…

RANDOM STUDENT: 500.

DECODER: 500! 500 years! Meaning the majority of work on the Cubes was done over five centuries, when all construction stops, as abruptly as it began. Which is to say no one has worked on them for over 300 years now… Which is also the case with the Cube our lecture will be centred on - the largest one ever completed. I’m referring, of course, to the Grand Cube of the Nile. I've seen it in person - a privilege, I know, with long-distance travel so heavily curtailed, and I will not divulge how long it took me to amass enough of a credit score to visit another continent… But trust me when I say that it is truly a breathtaking sight. It’s almost six times taller than the pyramids, just a short ride away. And having seen them side by side, I am of a firm opinion that the juxtaposition of the old and the new is no coincidence. By placing the Grand Cube so close to one of the wonders of the ancient world, the Program is basically inviting us to draw an analogy… "Look on my works, ye mighty, and compare!"

Okay, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Our first stop is eight hundred years in the past. Remember, the Program, this revolutionary new system of governance just appeared - basically the equivalent of handing every person on the planet a rocket launcher. Actually no, a better simile would be handing a rocket launcher to someone in medieval times, right, who’s got no idea what a rocket launcher even is! It is in this context — in the ruin of the old world and with this magical new tool at their disposal — it’s in this context that people were able to foster the unity necessary for an undertaking as gargantuan as the Cubes.

~~~~

BUTCH: Wow, this was many, many decades ago but it brings back a lot of memories even now. Goddamn, I must have been — 20? 22? …Too soon old, too late wise, I believe they say. Well, the old part at least holds true. [chuckles] You can call me Butch. That’s what everybody called me back then. My real name was too hard to pronounce for most people… Not everybody spoke English, and there’s no way for a translation app to say someone’s name without actually pronouncing it. So once folks found out what my offence was, they started calling me Butch. You see, I was a butcher back in the pre-Program times. I worked in the meat processing industry. But that’s not my real transgression - if it were, you’d have to hold millions to account! It’s not like I slaughtered animals for fun… It’s taboo to talk about it now, but people were eating them. And then when the Program took over, no cocksucker would ever admit to putting a piece of meat into his mouth! No no no… My real crime was that I dared to speak up! That’s what made me an “unengageable”. And why I ended up on a goddamn Cube.

Like everyone else, as soon as I arrived I got assigned to a battalion. This used to be a military term, but like a lot of words that had to do with displays of power it got appropriated by the Program. So it now referred to a group of five people who’d work and live together - called battas. Basically, they were your coworkers and roommates - meaning you got four instant mates. But, no, no, that’s not the right word. Battas were more than just friends. We’d eat together, we’d sleep together, fuck, we’d even shower together! Batta is someone who’d have your back no matter what. And let me tell you, working on a Cube back then ain’t like working on it now. Oh no! Back then it was dangerous business! Operating heavy machinery, working at heights, all done with no thought for our safety. Every battalion was named after a Hero of the Program, so we were known as the Viktor Ivanović battalion. How we got matched, I have no fucking idea - the Program did it based on some combination of skills and personality… I couldn’t tell you which, to me it made less sense than the fucking horoscope! But it was definitely carefully arranged, like everything else in the Program’s world.

Well, everything except one thing. You see, there was a stowaway, if you will. One day, a dog appeared on the site, right in front of our barracks. Mongrel, who knows what breed. Think of a dog as a kid would draw it - big as a pony and strong as a bear! And hungry as a wolf! It’s only after I enticed her with some bread dipped in milk that she dared approach. She swallowed it whole, not even chewing! Now that I think about it, we were all like that mutt back then. Owning nothing. But at least no man held our leash.

~~~~

DECODER: Before we start, one more question for you guys: Why? When it comes to the Cubes, this might be the most difficult question of them all. We know who built them, we know how they were built, we know when, and we know where. But the question of why remains elusive. One of my late colleagues called Cubes the greatest art project in human history. She likened Cubes to an empty canvas, on which we project our hopes, our fears, and desires. And she also said this is why some people feel such an acute need to “tame” them by ascribing them a definite reading. And, you know, what better way to do this than by slapping an inscription onto them?

RANDOM STUDENT: By “inscription”, you mean to engrave words onto them?

DECODER: Exactly. Literary sources confirm that discussions about emblazing a text of some sort onto the Grand Cube started pretty much at the same time the project was kicked off. However, you know, a problem immediately presented itself - how the heck do you pick a fitting dedication for such a monumental edifice? So, over the years, many proposals were put to the fore. But, five of them gained traction as time progressed. Each one of those had a very strikingly different flavour. And as it happens, each of these five inscriptions illustrates a different role Cubes might have played in the post-Program society. Now, the way I organized this lecture is to present them one by one. Then at the end you can decide for yourself which inscription you personally would have found the most worthy of being etched in gigantic letters onto the Grand Cube for eternity. And this is not merely an academic question, okay? The choice ended up being so contentious, that it led to what we now call the War of Five Poets - the largest conflict to have ever occurred in the post-Program era. However, in order to understand how we got there, we need to examine the pre-Program era first. After all, everything in history is a reaction to what happened before. So a large part of this lecture will be devoted to the old system, centred around the idea of nation states; entities originally created to protect citizens from autocrats, and that of course ended up doing precisely the opposite - protecting the autocrats from the citizens. It goes without saying that a system so hostile to the majority of the population had to be upheld both by brutal force and by much more subtle propaganda. And if the past has taught us anything, it’s that if you're not in charge of the story… You're at the mercy of the storytellers.

~~~~

BUTCH: So, let me tell you about my battas. We’ll start with Brokston, ascended from the radioactive ashes of the Levant. He was somewhat of a big shot in the old system, a minister in his country’s government. But this didn’t bring him the ire of the Program in itself. No, no… What got him in the crosshairs was that he was the chief architect of a law that raised the working age of his fellow countrymen to 70, while he was able to retire after four years in the parliament. So the Program sentenced him to work on the fucking Cube until the day he turned 70.

Batta numero dos was San Gabriel - that’s exactly how he pronounced his name, with a flourish, like he was riding a wild horse across the Pampas. I never quite found out where he was actually from, but I can tell you he was originally a Spanish speaker, employing turns of phrase that would leave even the most advanced translation apps bewildered… His transgression was that he was a deportation officer rounding up immigrants - mostly American refugees running away from their crumbling empire. So the Program set up a region lock on him - meaning even though borders no longer existed, San Gabriel was never again to set foot into what had once been his homeland.

Third batta was Churlington. With him, you couldn’t get him to shut up about where he’s from! “My beautiful Fairview”, he’d croon, even though it was neither beautiful nor was it his. But considering the violation that got him stuck on the Cube, you can forgive the man his delusions. You see, unlike Brokston and San Gabriel who were legacy government officials — so suspicious by default — Churlington was a retired civilian. But that doesn’t mean he’d been spending his days in retirement idle. Oh no… Churlington was busy indeed, lobbying the municipal government and weaponizing local bylaws to oppose construction of new homes in his neighbourhood. He made it his life’s mission to delay and obstruct development. So the Program made him build.

Last batta was Kimuji. He was… Jeez, I feel dirty even mentioning it. But in the old system he was a… An economist. Even worse, a neoliberal one! Yeah, it was that bad. What was especially jarring is that Kimuji was the smartest dude I ever met. I guess it just goes to show you you can be intelligent and educated and still be a complete idiot.

Then again, I’m sure there are people out there who’d say the same for me. I mean, I’d once been a butcher for crying out loud! So from a certain perspective we were all deviants… Five mad dogs - plus one mad bitch! [laughs] Yeah, for some reason that mutt decided to stick around, even though she was still largely apprehensive. Make no mistake, this was no domestic doggie. But I guess her being ungovernable is precisely what made her such a good fit for the proud and unbowed Viktor Ivanović battalion. Five rebel battas finding their place in the strange new world of the Program. Sure, we were glad it gave us a second chance. But we also knew there wouldn’t be a third one.

~~~~

DECODER: So, we said the Cubes have performed at least five distinct roles. The first of these was educational, epitomized in the first proposed inscription. It read: BETTER FAIR THAN FREE.…And I can tell by the look on your faces that some of you are underwhelmed.

RANDOM STUDENT: I dunno, to me it sounds… Cliched might be the word?

DECODER: Okay, true, but remember what I told you: you need to look at it through the pre-Program lens. While BETTER FAIR THAN FREE might sound banal to us, keep in mind that this was before the widespread realization that freedom and fairness are inversely correlated - that the more free a society is, the more unfair it becomes, right? So looking inside out from the cushy vantage point of our civilization, it’s easy to forget that freedom is the natural state. How in nature you’re perfectly free to die of hunger, or of predators, or exposure at any time. And how, by the same token, in an absolutely free community you’d be able to do as you please with no consideration for others. You could accumulate as much property as you wanted, consume as much resources as you possibly could, and exploit your fellows for personal advantage. Unsurprisingly, this is why capitalists preached freedom as the ultimate good. They even used freedom as a pretense to invade other nations, subjugating them in the name of liberty. Confusing, right? Befittingly, it was what ultimately led to their own downfall - so averse to setting limits on freedom, they were even free to destroy themselves. …All of this is to say that it probably didn’t seem like such a bad idea at the time to inscribe a reminder in 200 tonne letters that the whole purpose of civilization is to swap a state of freedom for a state of justice.

RANDOM STUDENT: And this is why we call this function of the Cubes educational?

DECODER: Not only because of this. Right, there’s also the fact that working shifts on the Cubes were on average only 4 hours long, followed by comprehensive educational programmes offering professional, political, and cultural learnings.

RANDOM STUDENT: Sorry, you said “cultural”, “political”, and..?

DECODER: Professional. Yeah, professional. That’s the most straightforward one really, since working on the Cubes also served to train the cadres in the vocational sense - as mechanics, miners, welders, masons, etc. At some sites — due to high injury rates — actually, doctors and nurses were being trained also. Next, workers received political education, mostly through lectures, round table discussions, and analyses of various texts. Exit surveys suggest that almost 9 out of 10 of those who arrived politically illiterate left with a grasp of basic socioeconomic concepts, such as surplus value of labour, control over the means of production, being able to recognize rent seeking, stuff like that.

RANDOM STUDENT: Yeah, when you put it like that, it’s obvious why they’d need a reminder that fair is better than free! [chuckles in the classroom]

DECODER: Yeah, I mean it might seem laughable to us, but you have to understand that people of the time weren’t aware they were being oppressed. They just knew they had to work hard and had no idea their hardship came from the nature of the socioeconomic system they were born in. Which ties in with the third type of education Cube workers received: cultural. As hard as it is to travel today, in those years no expense was spared to transport individuals from one part of the world to the other. So groups of people from Asia would get transferred to North American Cubes, or groups born in Europe would move to African Cubes. This had the result of Cubes bringing people with diverse backgrounds together and teaching them about their different lived experiences. About the different experiences of those who had lived in the imperialist core and those who had lived in the exploited periphery. Unlike political education however, cultural education wasn’t delivered through academic means, but mainly through various group activities - like, sporting competitions, video game tournaments, concerts, theatre productions, book clubs…

RANDOM STUDENT: Book clubs? But reading is a solitary activity.

DECODER: For an experienced reader it is. But keep in mind, books were an endangered art form at the time, that only a focused conservation effort brought back from the brink of extinction. So it’s not inconceivable that, at the time, reading a book was an undertaking requiring multiple people. Heck, you know, even watching movies was a challenging task for most people back then, especially if the films in question weren’t from the Sacred Forest. “Sacred Forest” or “Sacred Tree” is a direct translation from Old English. It’s an area famous for making movies that were made to dull one’s mind instead of broaden it. Which is why they were banned for consumption on the Cubes, as they were obviously antithetical to their purpose. Purpose echoed in yet another popular slogan of the time: "We build the Cube, the Cube builds us". Simply put, the Cubes were building a whole new generation.

~~~~

BUTCH: One thing people don’t understand today is that most Cube workers weren’t actually working on the Cube itself. There’s this saying “to move mountains” - well, building a Cube was literally that. You’d literally take a mountain worth of material and turn it into a Cube! Most of the workforce toiled in quarries and mines. It doesn’t look like it now, but I was once a big guy - all the Viktor Ivanović battas were! Not that strength would have done us any fucking good in the case of a tunnel collapse…

What I’m saying is that most jobs took place deep underground. Just getting to our post required going through a maze of tunnels. We’d start with the big ones, which hundreds of people would go into, and work our way down. So the five of us would take the same route every day. Actually, the six of us - the mutt would always tag along. Technically it wasn’t allowed, but she’d simply follow us into the shaft. She was getting less and less distrustful of us. In fact, we were becoming known as “the dog battalion”. This is why a fellow worker from the Luigi Mangione battalion told me a story about their cat. Apparently they had found a white cat and decided to keep her. But a few months later, she got bit by a bat… And the poor thing contracted rabies. Luckily, the Luigis figured it out and put the cat down before the sickness spread. Otherwise the guy talking to me probably wouldn’t be there! Before we separated, he told me to distance ourselves from the mutt. It ain’t worth the risk, he said. I didn’t share this story with my battas… I didn’t want them to worry. ‘Cos let me tell you, when you’re down there in that dark pit cut off from the world, having an animal next to you, it… It made all the difference. It was impossible not to get attached. Which is when the trouble began. You see, each of us had a different idea on how we should name her.

Brokston suggested “Iskra”, saying it meant “Spark”, which I liked - but in English! San Gabriel wanted to call her “Amiga”, meaning “a friend”. Churlington said we should call her “Sinclair”, which made no fucking sense at all -  but I guess expecting him to make sense was begging for disappointment. It was only Kimuji who said we shouldn’t name her anything. That to name her meant she belonged to us, when she only belonged to herself.

Unfortunately each of us had a head you could grind an axe on, so we couldn’t decide which name to pick. And it was starting to cause a serious rift between us. I know, it sounds silly, but we were stuck on a Cube - choosing a name for the mutt was one of the few decisions we still had control over in our lives…

So the mutt remained nameless. Which was fine, we weren’t in a hurry. I mean, none of us was going anywhere, at least not for a long, long fucking time... You wouldn’t believe it but a lot of folks didn’t want to leave the Cube at all. You see, in addition to us “unengageables”, there was a larger number of volunteers working there. True Program believers, attracted to the Cube by… A sense of purpose, I guess. And fuck, were they ever insufferable! Just to give you an example, they’d organize movie nights for us - huge projections, more than a thousand people in attendance! But of course the Program fanatics found a way to ruin the fun! You see, Hollywood movies were banned. Instead they’d make us watch films like one made by this Russian guy… Tarakovski or something - I don’t fucking remember the title. I just know it was black and white and had no damned plot! It was mostly random scenes with this dude reading poetry - in Russian! I mean, what better evidence do you need that Cubes were a fucking torture site!

~~~~

DECODER: Alright, the second of the five inscriptions once considered to adorn the Grand Cube is this one: KEEP THE FUTURE BURNING. …Okay, we’re definitely no longer dealing with cliches now, right? In fact, it takes a bit of analysis to figure out what the proponents of this inscription meant by it. And once again it requires us to consider the historical context. I just told you how Cubes were centres of learning when we spoke about their educational function. And, as everywhere where knowledge reins, technological innovation happens. Basically, you can think of the Cubes as hundreds of competing R&D labs where new discoveries were being made. Which, under the previous system of nation-states, would have been disastrous.

RANDOM STUDENT: Why?

DECODER: Well I mean, if you give fertilizer to a state it makes bombs. If you give nuclear power to a state, it makes bombs. If you give drones to a state, it makes bombs. Basically, states are an apparatus for turning things into bombs. It was simply the nature of the system to use technology for warfare. To be fair, it’s quite possible this wasn’t the fault of the socioeconomic system, but of our most fundamental system. I’m referring to human evolution. More specifically, to a working theory that it was weapons that supercharged human intelligence. Okay, I presume you’ve all seen 2001: A Space Odyssey? …Okay, I see a few heads nodding. Good, as it’s one of just 50 feature films committed to the Program’s eternal ROM in their entirety. Alright, so for those of you who have seen the movie already - can you tell me in which scene does our common ape ancestor kickstart a separate human lineage?

RANDOM STUDENT: Is it the one with the bone?

DECODER: Exactly. Or rather, it’s the part in which the bone is used as a cudgel. Strangely enough, not even the chimps, our closest relatives, have discovered the awesome power of a club or a spear. Otters will use rocks to break seashells yet none of them ever figured out the same rock can break otters. …Or think of fire - it’s a process occurring everywhere in nature, yet mastery over fire is a distinct trait only humans pulled off. And fire equals cooking, which gave us the ability to distil raw ingredients into more concentrated dishes, in effect supercharging the fuel that powers our bodies. Which is why, compared to the other mammals, the digestive tract in modern humans is so atrophied, that we technically shouldn’t be able to survive. What saves us are our food processing techniques, which perform much of the work of digestion before the food ever enters our mouth. What I’m trying to say is this - our population size and the quality of life are only possible thanks to the benefits of technology. Okay, to drive this rather big tangent back to the Cubes… What’s important to note is that none of what I just mentioned happens in a vacuum. The Romantic idea of a solitary genius still holds considerable sway, but in reality most discoveries are a collaborative process. And even if by some miraculous stroke of inspiration you as an individual gained an independent insight, what good is it if it doesn’t get adopted by your group before it gets buried with you? Dissemination of ideas is as important as production of ideas. Not even the most brilliant and resilient individual is able to feed, shelter, clothe, and perform everything else necessary to sustain themselves from their efforts alone. Humans simply are not designed to survive on their own. You could even say that society is our biome, just like the ocean is for fish.

RANDOM STUDENT: So, in a way, we could think of Cubes — being centres of socialization, learning, and discovery — as something like mini biomes?

DECODER: That’s an excellent way to put it. I like that. Sure, the Program brought us unity, but it was the Cubes that kept that unity going. Previously we spoke about the educational function of the Cubes. But there’s a profound difference between theory and practice. Sure, you can teach people that fire is a chemical process in which fuel reacts with oxygen and releases stored energy; but few will truly understand it until they’ve burned their fingers, you know? After all, you don't need to know how fire works to start one. Or, if you will, it’s the difference between fire illuminating and fire incinerating. Okay, imagine you’re walking down the road holding a torch. Fire radiates light, shining on what’s ahead - perhaps an enormous fallen tree blocking the path. That’s theory. But fire also radiates heat - so you use the fire to set the dead tree trunk alight and burn it out of your way. That’s praxis. KEEP THE FUTURE BURNING tells us it’s not enough to cast light upon the obstacles - you also need to clear the way.

~~~~

BUTCH: The day started out like any other. Our battalion had the first shift, so we were scheduled to wake up at 4:30 in the morning. Well, in theory - the mutt would always start barking a few minutes earlier. I forgot what the actual alarm sounded like! Kimuji wasn’t too happy about that. He was always a bit scared of her. Turned out he was right to worry…

So, there we were. The Viktor Ivanović battas and their unofficial mascot, walking to our shift. Arguing, as usual, how we should name her. It’s been months and we’re getting no closer to settling on a name. Not that the mutt cared… By then she knew the way so she’d sprint in front of us, occasionally looking back just to make sure we’re following. But something was off that morning. We were finally getting close to the shaft when, when she suddenly turned and just stood there, looking at us. She had this, this piercing, unsettling gaze... Churlington said “The hell is with her today?” Which is when she started snarling at us. My mind went “oh, shit!” as I immediately thought of the story of the rabid cat, but… But I kept my mouth shut…

San Gabriel yelled “That’s enough!” in a tone of voice that left little room for interpretation. Thankfully she got the message, and reluctantly backed off. So we started walking again, which is when she became possessed, barking like the seven hounds of hell! She had this mad look in her eyes, bearing her teeth and looking like she’d attack us! But I still couldn’t accept what I was seeing.

Brokston reacted first. He took an iron wrench and shouted at her to back off. But as soon as he made a step towards, she SPRUNG like a feral beast! She bit him so hard he screamed and immediately dropped the weapon. Shocked, we jumped in to protect our batta from further attacks! Thankfully she cowered back to the entrance. But Brokston’s hand was bleeding - like bleeding bleeding. So we stumbled our way to the barracks, and following us from a safe distance, her snout still red from blood - the culprit.

~~~~

DECODER: Alright, time to tell you about the third inscription. And this one… This one’s a bit perplexing. Scholars are still debating what it’s supposed to mean. It only consists of two words: CUBY McCUBEFACE. A popular hypothesis in academia when I was a young decoder was that McCubeface was a legendary hero who laid down the Cube’s cornerstone. The only problem with that theory is that it’s completely unsupported by historical facts. Most experts today believe that “Cuby McCubeface” is a deliberately nonsensical string of words, the goal of which was to draw attention to the absurdity of life - a stance that I find more telling of contemporary decoders’ nihilism, rather than anything the Cube’s builders might have thought.

RANDOM STUDENT: So, which theory do you subscribe to?

DECODER: I’m glad you asked. I’ll tell you, I think that this inscription was a way for people to process traumas that they’ve been subjected to under the previous system, which was known as “democracy”. The prefix “demo” pretty much tells us all we need to know, as calling it a demo is an explicit admission it’s simply a try-out phase for the real program that came afterwards. True to its name, democracy wasn’t much for anything. It wasn’t good at egalitarianism, as it allowed the majority to override the minority. It wasn’t good at efficacy, as it was slow and fickle. And it wasn’t good for making strategic decisions, ‘cos it always prioritised short-term gains and very narrow self-interests. As the aphorism goes: “Democracy requires people to be well informed, far-sighted, and self-sacrificing - the Program works with humans as they are."

RANDOM STUDENT: So how did this system remain dominant for so long?

DECODER: Well it didn’t. Even at its height, less than 50% of the global population practiced it in its most harmful “one person, one vote” form. Secondly, it was only around for a couple of centuries - really a blip on the radar of humanity. And look, on paper democracy definitely sounds pretty good, especially in its original form when people lived in tight-knit communities and actually knew who they were putting into power. But in the era of mass communication, it was always destined to turn into a competition of who could promise the most, and get held accountable the least. By the end, the much vaunted elections turned mostly into this performative affair, designed to project popular consent while excluding anyone who might challenge the dominance of the capitalist class. But that didn’t make democracy a beneficial system for the populace - it made it a good system for the rulers, as it delegitimized political overthrows. That’s what democracy was really good for - for manufacturing consent. Which is not to say people didn’t at some level realize this. I mean, CUBY McCUBEFACE is obviously a product of a cynical and disillusioned populace. Sure, you could choose to ignore the indignities and try to suppress the anger; but you couldn’t keep it bottled up forever. Which is also why the era preceding the Program was so rife with mental illness and drug abuse. Pills to fall asleep… Pills to stay awake… Pills to numb the pain… Pills to make you feel… By the time the Program had finally nailed the stake in the old system’s corpse and took over, the social fabric had been completely torn apart. Millions without a home, millions with no sense of belonging, millions without a utility… You couldn’t simply cut these people off and let them wander around the world. You had to gradually rehabilitate them. Let them find a new structure, a new purpose. Which brings us to this question of the function of the Cubes. They were orphanages, they were rehabilitation centres, they were make-work projects; shelters for the vulnerable, sanctuaries for the discarded, safe havens for the outsiders… They were here to help birth a better world. And why CUBY McCUBEFACE is no laughing matter.

~~~~

BUTCH: We were in for a rough night. Obviously we needed to reach a joint decision on how to proceed. Churlington said we should take a vote - after all, we were five battas and we all had an equal voice. He started talking about how it was precisely by “leveraging the power of the local electorate” that allowed them to keep Fairview free from outsiders for years. And I said “How did that work out for ya?” …But it’s not like I had a better idea. I mean, what were we gonna do? Ask the Program for help? It’s not like the thing followed any kind of discernable logic! We had no fucking idea what the reaction would be… Besides, this was our responsibility. She was our responsibility. We had to take care of her.

Kimuji spoke first. He said what happened wasn’t her fault; that it was us who had forgotten — or never wanted to admit — that she was feral, and that it simply wasn’t possible to tame a wild animal. San Gabriel said that was obviously false, otherwise there’d be no tame animals! To which Kimuji said sure, domestication was possible, but that it was a process that took many generations, through careful selection of those animals whose behaviour we wanted to see adopted, and ruthless elimination of those we did not.

San Gabriel said that even so, we had to give her a second chance. After all, all of us had been given a second chance. Churlington said that was giving her a second chance to bite someone else. Brokston said that where he was from, putting down a dog that attacked a man would be a no brainer. He said it was our liberal sensitivities that were stopping us from seeing things clearly. I said, hell, that was the first time anyone accused me of being a liberal. To which he just scoffed. He asked hadn’t I put thousands of animals to death in my day? Animals who never did any harm to anyone. So was I really going to defend an animal that attacked a person with no provocation? He said he thought I was a man of principle - after all, I wasn’t sent to the Cube for all those animals I slaughtered; it was for refusing to admit I did anything wrong that landed me there. Which is when I finally told them… Told them about what the Luigi Mangione batta told me. About their cat… And the rabies.

That really sucked the air out of the room. Churlington said he didn’t want to mention anything earlier, but that he thought he saw foam around her mouth the day before. I suggested maybe we could muzzle her until we were sure. But Kimuji reminded me that we were in a goddamn labour camp - it's not like we could order a muzzle online! Just asking around could alert the entire Cube we might be harbouring a fucking rabid dog. And if this turned out to be the case, it wouldn’t just be the mutt who’d be a goner. San Gabriel finally said that her behaviour could only be explained by sickness. He concluded that he had made up his mind and was voting to put her down as well.

And that was it. It was 4 to 1, her fate decided like… Like it was the result of a damned hockey game! And now… Now we just needed to decide who’d be the poor bastard to do it.

~~~~

DECODER: Okay, the Cubes’ next role is summarized in the following inscription: BLEEDING HEART, BLOODY HANDS. Most decoders think it’s a direct commentary on the function we just spoke about, about the Cubes performing various aspects of a societal safety net. And unlike what you might suspect based on everything you’ve heard about pre-Program societies so far, most of them did have some rudimentary forms of social security in place. Proponents of these policies even had a name, variously known as “progressives” or “liberals” - no need to write that down, these terms no longer have any meaning at all. What’s important is that they were the “bleeding heart” the inscription alludes to. The second thing of note is that they were in opposition to people who variously called themselves “traditionalists” or “conservatives”, and who emphasized the importance of discipline and hard work. They were epitomized in the “bloody hands” part of this inscription. The two groups alternated in influence, but their beliefs and methods remained separate. This leads us to the central issue, which is that for a healthy society you need both! You can only provide generous social support if there are strict penalties for abuse. …Which brings us to yet another noble lie of the pre-Program society we need to deconstruct - laws. Think of them as terms and conditions states would impose on their citizens. It’s just that, in contrast to today when we have a single rule to obey under the Program, states had plenty of laws. Actually, let me hear from you - does anyone have any idea how many laws the typical country had at the time?

RANDOM STUDENT: I remember reading about 10?

DECODER: You’re probably thinking of the ten commandments. Those were religious laws, not state laws.

RANDOM STUDENT: So, maybe 7?

DECODER: That’s just it - they didn’t know either. There were more laws than anyone was able to keep track of! Laws — including individuals’ rights — were so complicated, that there were entire professions devoted to interpreting them. Needless to say, a right that can be interpreted is not really a right at all, right? Which is why it’s better to think of “laws” not so much as a synonym for “rules”, but as a byword for “power”. Take one of the most common laws - the one against killing. Virtually every state had it. Unless of course, the same state needed you to defend it. In that case, killing was not only allowed, but it was mandated — you could be drafted into the armed forces. In extreme cases, if you refused to kill, the state had the power to legally kill you instead.

RANDOM STUDENT: Why did people just accept these “laws”?

DECODER: Well, it’s not like anyone asked them, right? It was mandated from above by the rich and powerful - the very people who the laws protected, but did not bind. So it should come as no surprise they did their best to convince everyone else that the world would burst into flames if the rules that favoured them were revoked. And why they made every effort to equate lawlessness with barbarism. Of course, we now realize it’s exactly the opposite - that the real test of a civilized society is precisely if it can prosper without commands that have to be enforced by a threat of violence to ensure compliance. And how the whole concept of “laws” is flawed, as all rules do is incentivize people to find ways to skirt around them. The trick of good governance isn’t to stop strife - it’s to manage it.

RANDOM STUDENT: And how do you do that?

DECODER: Well, you start by identifying the root cause of strife for humans. As is starting to become a common refrain of this lecture, us humans are inherently social creatures. Which is a nice way of saying we’re constantly jostling for social standing. And social dynamics confer most value on those individuals who contribute the most to their group. The better our ranking in the group, the better our diet, the better our dwelling, the better our mate, the better our life in general. Meaning we’ve got a strong incentive to distinguish ourselves among our peers. Historically, two main avenues to do so were through labour and through conquest - which is to say work and war. However, under the Program’s effective governorship the first avenue was heavily curtailed, as there were simply not enough useful jobs to perform. At the same time, the Program superseded nation-states and abolished borders - meaning that man, this hierarchical and territorial animal, suddenly found himself in circumstances that did away with both concepts!

...Which is exactly when the Cubes appear. With the Cubes, the Program directed human drive — and the associated competition and aggression — into a contained and highly focused area. Think of them like one of those controlled demolitions, where an expert crew takes down a skyscraper by detonating bombs in just these specific places so that when the building collapses it goes in on itself and doesn’t damage any of the surroundings. Or you can think of them as hazard reduction burning, where an area of a forest is purposely burned so that flames can’t spread beyond a previously delineated zone. It’s just that the Cubes don't manage explosions or fires, but something even more incendiary… The human tendency to take everything to 11. And why a bleeding heart must be accompanied by bloody hands.

~~~~

BUTCH: The decision what to do had been made - all that was left to decide was who’d actually be the poor bastard to do it. So we raided the cultural centre’s game room and grabbed 5 dice. We’d take turns rolling them, and the batta with the lowest total would be the one to do the deed. I mean, we were on a fucking Cube, so I guess it was only right to settle this fucking cubes. You know - dice, cubes..? Whatever.

Brokston rolled first. And Old Lady Fortune definitely blew him a kiss, as the son of a bitch rolled 25 - high enough it was obvious he was off the hook.

San Gabriel was the one Lady Fortune kissed next - heck, she gave him a blowjob, as he got an even higher score than Brokston - all sixes and fives!

But then came Kimuji, whose total was a measly 9. The poor bastard didn’t even break into double digits. And he knew it was bad.

My mother used to say “better to be born without a brain than without luck” and here was Churlington, the living embodiment of this, as he rolled a 10 - just one higher than Kimuji, but even so, he was free as a bird.

So, all I had to do was roll higher than Kimuji. The laws of statistics were on my side, but of course it couldn’t be that simple. When my shaky roll came to a halt, the numbers tallied up to 9 as well. Meaning Kimuji and I had to re-roll.

I agreed to roll first. We were anxious like two schoolgirls on fucking prom night! So I carefully picked up the dice, kissing each one of them, I narrowed my eyes and visualized the sixes smiling towards the heaven. Then I held my breath and rolled… 29! All sixes and one five! The second best result possible!

I was still celebrating when Kimuji grabbed the dice, whispered something in Korean the translation app didn’t quite pick up, and — before the rest of us could even process what’s happening — threw the dice in front of our stunned faces, rolling…

…A 7! Poor bastard got an even worse result than the first time. Meaning I won! I was in the clear! I — I wouldn’t be the one to do the… To do the…

Which is when I started thinking about what this really meant. What Kimuji would actually do. Sure, we were on a construction site - the place was practically trying to kill you. But it had not been designed for this. So what would the guy do? Drown her in a discharge tank? Release a concrete block over her and quash her like a bug? Throw her into a smelter and burn her alive?

It was like fog suddenly lifted, clearing my mind. And it yelped — no, it howled — howled how it was still possible to correct this, this cursed course we were on. So I looked at Kimuji, looked at my desolate batta straight into his watery eyes, and simply said: No. You won’t do it.

...I know how to kill an animal. I’ll do it.

~~~~

DECODER: Alright, and so we arrive at the final proposal. The fifth inscription vying for the honour to adorn the Grand Cube for eternity. This one’s the shortest one - it’s just two words long. And those two words are: SURPASS ME. …Somewhat cryptic, right? But not so much if you think of it as a direct comment on what we spoke about previously. Namely, what do you lose when you lose work and war? What do you lose when you lose struggle and destruction? What if a collapse — while bad for individuals who are affected by it — is actually good for society?

RANDOM STUDENT: I’m not sure I understand. How can collapse and destruction be good for society?

DECODER: Because it forces members of said society to offer assistance to ensure their mutual survival. In fact, it might be the ultimate test of a healthy society - if you don’t care that your neighbour’s house burned down, it’s a pretty clear indication that you don’t really form a neighbourhood. …The problem is, before the Program appeared, this process of natural renewal had for a long time been artificially blocked. Most historians will cite a practical reason - nuclear weapons, which made war between great forces an impossibility. But I’d like to divert the spotlight to yet another noble lie of the pre-Program era, perhaps the biggest one of them all: that human life is sacred.

Now, it’s obvious to anyone who knows anything about life that it’s nothing of the sort. Reality will never fail to remind us that human life is exactly the opposite - miserable by default, subject to wanton injury, gratuitously expendable... Or the intended reading was that human life is infinitely valuable. But if so, here again our ancestors displayed a rather warped reading of the concept. True, they rarely allowed any identified lives to be extinguished for lack of resources - for example, if a handful of individuals got stuck in a cave or stranded on a mountain, no expense was spared to retrieve them, even if it was their own mistake that got them in this position. However, at the same time they’d let millions of unidentified lives be extinguished for lack of simple things like medicines or potable water, simply for having made the mistake of being born on the wrong continent.

The Program of course corrected this perverse ethical framework, by acknowledging reality - all human lives are equally worthless. The cold truth is that most lives are simply of no consequence. And there’s no stronger reminder of this than the Cubes. I mean, if there’s one thing standing in front of a Cube does to a man, it’s that it puts things into perspective. Not only because of their size, but their longevity as well. After all, Cubes are indestructible. Not literally, of course - there’s little that can survive willful destruction, as statues erected by countless previous rulers will show you. All of them were certain they were erecting everlasting memorial to their greatness, but you know most of them have long fallen and been forgotten. So yeah, sure - in theory you could dismantle the Cubes. However, their sheer size means it’d take too much coordination and resources to do it - especially without the Program’s assistance.

…Which is the real message of SURPASS ME. It’s not an encouragement. It’s not a challenge. And it most certainly isn’t an inspiration. It’s a taunt. It’s the Program saying: “Think you’re more capable? Think you’d be more just, more equitable, more successful? Very well. Go ahead. Surpass me.” The Cubes might be a monument, but they are not a celebration. They’re a warning. A warning to never question the Program’s supremacy. A lot of ink has been spilled about the Program and its mission, but in my opinion it ultimately boils down to a simple task. The Program is a sorting algorithm. Its main role is to amplify the voices that need to be heard, and to drown out anyone else. Anyone who might try to convince you that hard work is honourable instead of an unfortunate necessity. Anyone who might insist that we must accept the yoke of laws in order to be free. Anyone who might argue that it’s better to gauge ideas by counting them than by weighing them. Anyone exhibiting such sociopathic behaviour today would immediately get cut short - either by ostracism, or by straight up firing. It’s regrettable, of course. But sometimes the only way to drive a point into someone’s head is by planting an axe into their skull.

~~~~

BUTCH: I told the battas to wait for me in the barracks and I walked outside. She was there waiting for me. By that time, her demeanour had changed. A sad reality of the early stages of rabies is that it grabs hold of its victims in short, violent outbursts, followed by periods of apparent normality. Only a blot of dried blood on her laid witness to what had happened. It was night by then, meaning all outdoor work on the Cube had wrapped up. So I signalled her to follow me to the main site - usually bustling with activity, but at that hour completely devoid of life. She faithfully marched, unaware this was the last walk I was taking her on.

In my former life as a butcher, I used something called a bolt pistol. It’d inflict a shallow strike on the animal’s forehead, instantly incapacitating it. There were no bolt pistols on site, but we had powerful nail guns, which for all intents and purposes would produce the same result. One just had to know exactly where to inflict the strike - roughly 5 centimetres above the eyes. Those big eyes… Exhibiting no fear, only puzzlement. As though she was saying: “You realize this machine is danger, right?” I gently put her head on a large wooden block. Her trust in me at that moment — when every instinct should have been telling her the opposite — her trust in me was complete. She did let out a silent bark when I powered up the nail gun, more as a way to alert me - like I might have not been aware she was in the line of impact. But still, she obeyed me. The thought that I could do her harm never formed in her mind. And if — if there is an entity that watches over us — call it Fate, God, or the fucking Program — I just hope it treats us better than we treated that animal.

<sniffles>

I staggered my way back to the barracks like a fucking reverse death row prisoner. I could see them from far away: four battas waiting for the fifth. For batta the butcher.

I was on the Cube when San Gabriel arrived - that man never looked back, never complained, never showed regret or remorse in so much a sigh or stare.

Brokston - here was a guy who didn’t shed a tear when his own brother was shot by a Little Sister.

Churlington was the living embodiment of a stiff upper lip.

Kimuji - shit, I don’t know if anyone in Asia cries. If they do, Kimuji sure as heck didn’t.

And yet, there they were, around me, hugging me, soaking me in their tears, trying to console the inconsolable.

But… But my eyes… My eyes were dry. And my head empty. All I could think was… Good thing we didn’t name her.

~~~~

RANDOM STUDENT: I have a question. And it concerns, I guess you could say it concerns the merit of this entire argument.

DECODER: Okay. Go on.

RANDOM STUDENT: Well, it’s just that to me, any of the inscriptions you’ve presented sound more than appropriate to adorn the Grand Cube. The way I see it, it’s the Cube itself that’s important. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, why so much fuss over some words?

DECODER: Perhaps. Yeah. But then you also need to ask yourself: what do we have apart from words..? Fables, fairy tales, some of humanity’s oldest literature, these often revolve around spells, and curses, and hexes. And that’s for a good reason, because words are magic. After all, they’re utterances or markings that can paint pictures in other people’s minds. You know, make them hold certain beliefs, or compel them to perform specific actions. The ability to acquire and master language is at the root of consciousness. This is exemplified twice on this planet, first through the process of biological evolution, and then through its digital counterpart. In fact, some early software engineers were so convinced that digital intelligence would one day exceed our own, that they sought to design it so it inherently likes us. They compared this approach to how humans were able to turn a dangerous wolf into a loyal dog. However, others said this was a completely backwards approach - that it is us who should adopt the strategy of the dog. That if we present ourselves as less capable but loving creatures, perhaps our new robot overlords will let us coexist with them, even though it’s obvious that they’re in charge.

RANDOM STUDENT: But doesn’t the fact it was the builders who were making the choice which inscription to etch onto the Cube, doesn’t that suggest it is us who are in charge?

DECODER: Maybe. Maybe not. After all, when you take a dog out for a walk, you leave it up to him to choose which tree along the way they piss on. …But that’s kinda beside the point. What’s important is that you now know the five inscriptions vying to grace the Grand Cube for eternity. BETTER FAIR THAN FREE, warning us that freedom and fairness aren’t sisters, but enemies. KEEP THE FUTURE BURNING, a reminder that progress doesn’t just happen, but that nothing happens without it. CUBY McCUBEFACE, an obvious example of how democracy does not work for the people, but against them. BLEEDING HEART, BLOODY HANDS - denoting that you can only be generous with the needy if you’re stern with the greedy. Finally, SURPASS ME, reminding us that a single generation is too small to experience the level of civilization. …Five contenders. Five maxims. How do you settle on one?

Fortunately, builders of the Grand Cube had no need to resolve their dilemma in a hurry, as you know, everybody knew that it would take a long time, they were in for the long haul. Just like with the great cathedrals of the past, Cubes were constructed in stages, with one generation taking over from the previous. This meant that decades would pass until any firm decision on the inscription would have to be made. Unity was also fostered by a mutual adversary. Cube of Suez, which started to be built fairly nearby soon afterwards. Its construction was progressing at a record speed, motivating the Grand Cube builders to put their differences aside and cooperate in the name of this common goal. The tenuous peace held for centuries, and the Grand Cube eventually grew into the colossus we know today. But then a devastating earthquake hit and destroyed much of the area around Suez, including breaking the Cube there in half. Which is why today it’s known as…

RANDOM STUDENT: The Split Cube!

DECODER: The Split Cube, correct. The earthquake put an immediate end to its construction. But it also did something else, arguably more destructive. With their common foe gone, the latent antagonism that had been brewing between different inscriptionist factions for centuries had suddenly been released. Ushering a period of fighting that we call the War of Five Poets. It’s a rather romantic way to refer to a bloodshed that has taken over a hundred thousand lives. Specifically 100,236 lives.

RANDOM STUDENT: How do we know the exact number?

DECODER: It’s because the Grand Cube didn’t only have a symbolic function - it had a very practical use as well.

RANDOM STUDENT:  So what was its practical use?

DECODER: As a tomb. For hundreds of years, bodies of builders have been buried inside it. First those who died constructing it, either due to a mishap, or out of exertion… Simply old age. Then came the War of Five Poets, and all the poor souls that it took. Each and every one of the deceased would get his or her name engraved on the Cube. You think 100,000 is a lot? It’s barely one tenth of the people who have been laid to rest inside the Grand Cube for eternity. One million, 25 thousand, and 72 names in total. For centuries they quarreled over what meaning to imbue onto it. And then they'd all end up in it.

[silence]

RANDOM STUDENT: So, which one did they choose? Which inscription did they settle on?

DECODER: None of them. By the time the hostilities ended, so many names were etched on the Cube that there was no more space for an inscription left.

RANDOM STUDENT: That’s tragic.

DECODER: [chuckles] There’s something even more tragic… The most tragic thing is THAT IT’S A FUCKING CUBE! It’s got five exposed sides - they could have easily fit all five inscriptions! SURPASS ME would make the most sense emblazoned on the top anyway! Unbelievable…

~~~~

BUTCH: I don’t recall the night that followed. I know at some point we went back inside our barracks to sleep, but no one got any rest that night. As soon as one schmuck stopped crying another one started. Everyone but me, that is. Tears still wouldn’t come to me. I don’t know why, it was probably shock… Or maybe shame. All my life I was surrounded with people like that… People with power, who’d make tough decisions, supposedly for my benefit, but actually for their advantage… Besides, I wasn’t sad… I was mad! Mad at that stupid mutt! Why did she have to growl at us? Why did she have to attack Brokston? Why? Why did she crawl under our skin only to sink her teeth into it? The blood she spilled came straight from the heart, a heart too small, and too cold, and too worn out to shelter such a big animal…

Anyway, I think it was probably shortly before dawn that my poor battas finally stopped whimpering and we got some respite in sleep... Only to get brutally woken up by the shrieking alarm, calling us to our morning shift. So we got dressed and spent the long walk to our shaft in silence. The fuck was there to argue about any more?

As we got near, it was obvious something was happening. There were official-looking people in front of the shaft, which was cordoned off, red lights flashing. Outside the perimeter were multiple bystanders, visibly distraught, but somehow we made it through to the foreman. He brusquely told us to back off, not even looking at us. When we replied that we couldn't, that we had to go in as we skipped yesterday’s shift, he just froze. Then he lifted his face, two wide eyes looking straight through us. I will never forget that gaze… He looked… He looked at us like we were ghosts! I… He did his best to compose himself and told us: “Boys, you are very lucky men." At first I thought he was mocking us — to call the bereaved lucky — but… Because… Because the foreman explained to us how… How there had been a carbon monoxide leak… A carbon monoxide leak in the shaft. And how the group that went in… How they couldn’t… They couldn’t smell the gas before they passed out… And how none of them made it out.

[chokes up]

Sorry… Sorry, sorry… I think we gotta stop there.

~~~~

RANDOM STUDENT: So all those years… All those people who fought to have their inscription on the Grand Cube… It was all for nothing? They all… Died for nothing?

DECODER: Well, maybe… Or maybe it’s the opposite of that. You know, we’ve spent a lot of our time together today discussing humanity and the human condition. And viewed from a certain angle, one could say that it’s precisely death that makes us human. Or rather, our relationship with it. Animals die but aren’t aware of their mortality; digital intelligence is aware of mortality but doesn’t die. I mean we are the only living beings who know that one day we will no longer be living. Which means we face a unique set of questions. What will remain after us..? Are we going to be a part of something bigger than ourselves? Shall we leave a trace? In a way, it’s what we’ve been doing together today: contemplating history and how we got here. Remembering our ancestors and their contributions. And comparing ourselves with them, forcing us to reflect on what’s gonna be our legacy. After all, a man might be mortal, but his name? That name doesn’t have to be.

We’re almost out of time… But there is one more thing I’d like to show you…

I told you how there were one million, twenty-five thousand, and seventy-two dead men and women buried in the Grand Cube. But that’s incorrect. There’s actually one million, twenty-five thousand, and seventy-one dead men and women buried. Because, you see, deep in the Cube’s foundations, there’s a name not of a person. There’s a name of a dog. …I wonder very often what that pup did to be granted such an honour. And in my mind, I can’t help but think she’s being paid respect for something. It might sound sentimental, but in my mind, it’s a tribute. A way for her to be remembered, resting for all time, side by side, with her crew. Hard workers and brave souls, whose destinies are literally woven into the marvel that is the Grand Cube. Men by the names of:

BROKSTON…

CHURLINGTON…

SAN GABRIEL…

KIMUJI…

And BUTCH.

RANDOM STUDENT: Sorry, but pre-reform spelling is not my strong suit. Could you please read us the name of the pooch as well?

DECODER: BATTA. Her name was Batta.

[The Program audio series main theme]

ANNOUNCER: This episode of The Program was made by five people: Alexander Kemp, Kevin Benjamin, Parker Zapp, Christien Ledroit, and IMS. Big thanks to the entire team at The Wolf at the Door studios. Visit programaudioseries.com for more details. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check out Modes of Thought in Anterran Literature - just follow the link in shownotes. This is also where you’ll find the link to join The Program’s Patreon and add your name to the list of supporters. We can’t promise eternal glory as with the Cubes, but we guarantee that every new member brings infinite joy to The Program’s creator, and that he will personally reach out to thank you.